How a healthy emotionally attached mother/daughter relationship leads to a healthy intimate partner dynamic

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A mother-daughter relationship can be the first relationship a human develops and, very often, is the most complicated one. Creating and maintaining a healthy mother-daughter relationship, as one moves through the different phases of life, takes effort. Not only that but a healthy mother-daughter relationship leads to healthy relationships in the future. Journal of Youth and Adolescence reported that researchers found that young adults from families that were cohesive, organized, and without much conflict were less likely to be in romantic relationships with violence or poor problem-solving. 

The importance of mother-daughter relationships came to light when a study by Kathryn E. Bojczyk revealed that the relationships between mothers and daughters are the strongest amongst any parent-offspring relationships. In fact, it serves as the cornerstone of the future of any relationship a woman may have with those around her. The mother-daughter relationship holds the internal working model of attachment, which dictates a woman’s connection with others.

A daughter’s first relationship is with her mother. She is the first one to build a bond with which further shifts the way she enters future romantic relationships. The way that it results in healthy intimate relationships is by what the daughter learns through her relationship with her mother, an example being communication. Deak says that, at any age, communication really is the key to a healthy relationship. “Learning how to communicate involves understanding that communication is two-sided,” she says, noting that it is vitally important to realize that communication goes beyond verbal. It includes tone, body language and eye contact. 

By learning how to communicate properly at a young age allows for daughters to grow and express themselves the way that they intend to others. Not only that but if there are issues in the daughter’s intimate relationship she has the skills to get through any obstacle in a healthy way. 

Another way that healthy mother-daughter relationships pave the way to healthy intimate relationships is that daughters learn the way they should be treated. If a mother treats their daughter poorly then their daughters think that is the treatment they deserve and accept unhealthy/toxic relationships. In a healthy relationship, daughters will see that they are not being treated properly and will quickly leave the relationship.

Overall, mother-daughter relationships are massively important for the future of their daughter’s relationships. If someone does not have a great relationship with their mother there are tools and resources to fix it. 

Resources: “How To Strengthen The Mom And Daughter Relationship” by Harini Natarajan and “Early family experience affects later romantic relationships” by NIH

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